Purpose, what is it?

As I get my strength back I begin to adjust my sails. My heart (my vessel) is ready to move. I feel this storm, this Tiger brewing inside of me and I am seeking an outlet. Of course there are differences about me now and physical limitations but I pray they don't stay permanent. How do I at 33 readjust my sails and find a whole new passion or purpose? It's harder than you think. Maybe even a process that has been going on longer than i am consciously aware. I imagine this process might happen many times over a life span. I was reading this book, A Passionate Life a christian based book. It talked about finding your purpose and that we should take paper and write down what we are passionate about. The writer states to continue the list writing until you find the purpose that makes you cry or have some emotional connection. "Interesting", I thought. This list can take hours, maybe days but in the end it will be helpful. As I was making a small list in my head I kept thinking do I have enough life experience to recognize what I am passionate about? Do I expose myself to a variety of things to see myself within it? umm, probably not! The truth is I have a lot of passion and no real direction. I believe I could take just about anything and move mountains with it. I am on a quest and I would even take advice or direction to push me through this safety zone I am living in. In my 20's I took risks now in my 30's I find myself being to modest and to safe. "Practice will get you in the rhythm of walking". So get ready for my recital it will be -far out-.

The will of God

The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

poem by Georgy

Humility

Filled with guilt and contention. I understand my spirit is in turmoil therefore polluting those that surround me. I understand that when my finger gets to pointing I am somehow silently suffering. I need to look inside myself and find my sufferings and weakness so that I can do what it takes to pull the layers of hurt and pain. My confidence is low therefore I feel as though I am under microscope and I am being judged. There is a pressure of perfection; a reality which is challenging to reach.

I have to often ask myself where that pressure of perfection is coming from. I have always wanted to please my parents maybe even stand out above my siblings so that I am acknowledged in a positive light. Is it competition or a desire to improve myself? I am motivated by competition but this is a time that I must make things right for myself not for my parents approval.

Repentance comes to mind for mine actions against others. I have a commitment to love unconditionally and to see all for the good they offer whether it be for me or others. Pride and criticism seem to be my weakness. So easily I forget my shortcomings and so quickly I judge.

Today on Fathers Day I will think of my Heavenly Father and I will recommit my resolutions and I will find joy in service to my Lord. It is my duty to keep my heart cleansed and to share my heart and testimony with others. My weaknesses are also my strength. I shall commit myself to choose the strength in light of my weaknesses.

Do not wait for the God to humble you. Humility earned and worked for is much more gratifying.

Ephesian 4:29
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Happy Fathers Day!