Coming from a long line of strong women I found this article to be insightful. I think we all understood this to be true but over time as we became devoted to our individual progression we have forgotten man's role as opposed to womans. I am a challenge of strength and of knowledge but truly I as a woman still has a desire for mans protection and comfort.
Tell me what you darlings think"
Society favored men because it was, and still is to a commercial extent, a man's world where everyone knew his/her place. The majority of women stayed home, they did not work outside, they had to be looked after financially by their partners and the roles were clearly defined. Man was the boss, the head, the lynch pin of the home, the protector and master of all he surveyed. He went to work and brought home the bacon, while woman simply cooked the bacon for all to eat. Nothing could be simpler and more precise. Woman played a supporting role, no matter how much she was mistress of the home itself. A man was eligible if he had a home, job, money, and all the material things he could provide a family. If he lacked them, then he had to at least demonstrate the 'potential' to get them.
Men did the proposing and, even at the disco, men decided their dancing partners. If you were not pretty enough to attract the right attention, you ended up being the proverbial wallflower. In many ways, men could pick and choose because, should they not fancy someone in particular to date, she was likely to be 'left on the shelf' and regarded as an 'old maid' or 'spinster' later on. Worse still, virgins were the order of the day. So you were considered a slag if you were not a virgin before marriage, while men had the right to sow their wild oats where they pleased. Once women left home they went straight to another man's house or remained with their parents, or single forever. There was hardly an in-between status.
Very few women were educated to intellectually high levels, even though many would have been much brighter than their partners. They remained passively in the background, encouraging their menfolk to shine. Men also had an unwritten right to beat their women, even to death many times, and use as much violence as they liked because there was a time when the police would 'not interfere' in domestic conflicts. This left vulnerable, weak women at the mercy of their partners. Many women had to ask permission to do the simplest things, like even visiting their relatives or friends and many controlling men took charge of their family's lives in very harsh ways.
New Freedoms for Women
Gradually women have been gaining parity with men over the the last 30 years and have taken charge of their own lives. They no longer depend on men to dictate the direction of their lives and are enjoying the new freedoms such parity brings. In the process, men have begun to feel very insecure and wary of women. With their own jobs, their own money, their own house and the desire to remain single until they choose, or forever, women have moved the goal posts, changed the relationship culture and relegated men to a different level of uncertainty.
Men have lost the protocol of how to woo modern women because they feel inadequate to compete to get them. What exactly do they use? Many women might say that character, love, values etc are tops for them now, but a lot of men are not schooled in the art of 'loving' or being 'compassionate' and 'warm'. Men know how to be protective, to be a macho MAN, in particular, but such attributes are rapidly going out of fashion. Furthermore, they cannot get too close to women anymore to get to know them because of the danger of their motives being misinterpreted or they are accused of harassment. Worst still, even their sperm for reproduction is now expendable.
In every way, men are slowly losing out in the wooing stakes. After all, if you already have your own material desires, nothing a man has in that respect would then be appealing. Second, if you are not interested in money because you have your own, then a man's cash would offer very little appeal either. Third, today's woman has little desire to be protected or to become someone else's 'possession' and are resisting that strongly. Many women take pride in doing everything for themselves so have little need for 'gentlemen' to pamper or looking after their them.
More Qualifications
Finally, lots of men would like someone 'intelligent' but many also add that they should not be 'too intellectual'. They feel inadequate squaring up to an intellectual female because women used to be seen and not heard. They really cannot handle the woman who thinks too much. Yet, tons of women are moving into higher education and getting professional qualifications in order to choose their own career direction so they would want to use the intellectual clout this would give them. Women have even been accused of playing men at their own game with one night stands, so even sex is being controlled to a greater extent by women.
Older men, in particular those over 50, are finding this new world very difficult to deal with. Having been brought up to be 'gentlemen' in a world which is gradually rejecting such gentlemen, they feel useless and undervalued. Their definition of a 'lady' shares very little with that of current ladies and many men find themselves at sea without a paddle when looking for a new mate. In fact, many of them complain of the 'brashness' of modern ladies who are not afraid to ask for what they want and don't even wait to be given it. Many of these men cannot deal with the woman's approach to sex, especially when as the dominant gender, men used to lead on things sexual.
The result of the changing approaches to each other is a mismatch of expectations and ideals in a world in transition. It means that mindsets have to change on all fronts to appreciate what the different genders seek. Women have to learn to allow men to be men, in their own way, which does not conflict too much with what women desire, and men will have to learn new ways of dealing with women, to learn what is now attractive to women and how they can meet in the middle. The old approach just won't work anymore with most women, and an increasing number of men.
So, not really a good time to be a man. Many must be asking themselves, just how do you impress someone with your car, your house, your money and your job if they are already well impressed with their own???
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