It's that time again..I need to release on so many levels. Let's just say I am so proud of my 3 fingers that are cooperating so that I don't become an explosive vessel. -People- please, please live life to the fullest and find everything to be grateful for. There is nothing more frustrating than existing in a shell of a body that can't create or perform your hearts desires. Believe me I am mad at myself for ever whining or taking anything for granted. Here are a few things who are not my friends right now that -I- took for granted. Make-up brush (poked me in the eye) Can opener, (although a one-hand wonder spilled tuna juice on me), forks (they feed my shirt, not me), uugghh! medicine bottles (why did I forget to tell them no child proof lids), umm... mascara (is that suppose to go on eyelashes? cause my hand thinks otherwise), Bra (if I have someone fasten it) Pen (my hands worst enemy), Toothbrush (yah, not so much) and many others some to private to share.
OK now for the good part... what I am thankful for: My arms wrap all the way around my boys, I can scrub dishes (who would have thunk I would enjoy dishes), I can walk (mostly with support, but I can), vision (I love that I can see my beautiful boys smiles), My mind and speech (I would die if I couldn't talk :) ok not really, but maybe), oh yah MY 3 FINGERS shout out! (left hand -middle finger- right hand -pointer and thumb-), prayer (Lord knows I need him)
So truth is I am weak, I am frail and some days I lose hope. Deep down there is this strong, sassy I can do it all by myself little girl. So each day I have to make a choice. A choice to live and not take life for granted. Believe me it is easier said than done. Today was a day of sadness and depression. I started looking at my disabilities instead of my strengths. I started seeking out what I couldn't do instead of what I can. I have a testimony of service and believe it brings pure happiness because it causes you to look past yourself and to see life through others eyes. My dilemma today is my mind could not see service performed without the work of my hands. I am thankful to a friend that just let me unload this morning. He had so many great ideas to occupy my mind and with each one I threw a reason I couldn't. -I stopped- and thought to myself geez he is trying so hard to get me out of this funk and I won't give him a break. I thanked him for his willingness and said to myself " Nobody can change this but me". At this point I knew I needed to pray. "Lord show me the way, show me ways to perform service without my hands". Crazy how that works. I left and came back to the computer where I clicked on a blog (nieniedialogues.blogspot.com) that inspires me when I am weak. Go to her blog today 2-25-11 and just know God had something to tell me. From there I went to another blog that gave ideas of service. Ways we could help improve another person's life. Small gestures.
My blogs are written because they are a journal of my life and the lessons I learn as I journey through life. I love that we all have the opportunity to express ourselves in this nature. There are many of us who won't ever know each other but I am embraced and inspired by the blogs I read. So if all you have to give is your story please believe there is one woman somewhere along the way that was touched by you.
"Life holds so many simple blessings, each day bringing its own individual wonder"
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