Learn stillness

"We need the storms" might be a way we look at life and bare each burden that heads our way. I sit in my hospital bed feeling the pain and discomfort of my illness. I sit frustrated at the lack of control I have being in this position of life. I then realize I have not submitted my will to God and I have not mustered a bit of faith. Sad, angry, confused, lost, weak are my current weather conditions. After talking to a friend late last night he stated

"learn stillness, there is a God; just listen".

Truth is I have lived 32 years but starting today I will be born to a new world and a new way of life unlike the one I have come to know. I am vulnerable, lost and disturbed. I have to admit how alone I have felt over the past several months but I realize now there are so many loved ones who surround me and care for me. Most of my sadness is for my little warriors who have to grow so fast to assist me and care for me when really it should be the other way around. Shakur came to the hospital today to see me and oh how I longed to hold and comfort him. There are many words we don't have to speak as mothers yet we can communicate through a simple embrace with our children. I loved to just cradle him in my arms.

I got to thinking about the storms of life that shake us, bringing us down to our knees. Perhaps it's financial, or a matter of health; perhaps it's losing the trust of someone you've grown accustomed to leaning on. Maybe it's shaking your faith, but hopefully it's doing the opposite--drawing you closer to the arms of the one who protects.

We need the storms. For without them we wouldn't see that we have need for Christ. We all walk the same soil that trips us up from time to time leaving us feeling alone in the storm. But like me who wants so desperately to stand on my own, I am not alone and shouldn't be. I praise God that He is there to comfort me, to cleanse me, and to shelter me under His wing. I need my Father, and because of Him, I can weather the storm.